Outrageous Footwear by...Jessica Simpson?

There's pretty much no way I would ever consider trying on, let alone buying, a pair of Jessica Simpson shoes.  Until I visited my friend and she pulled these monsters out.  They are like two carefully crafted pieces of furniture that you can also wear on your feet.  A carpenter/stripper's shoes, if you will.  But aside from the towering wooden inferno heels and platforms, these shoes are actually top quality - soft black leather that wraps all the way around the front platform.  And they are actually kind of...comfortable?  I'm not really sure what you would wear with these trucks, but I kind of like the idea of black pants that tie on the bottom.  Of course no guy buys these for his girlfriend hoping that she wears them with PANTS, so perhaps a war of the sexes will ensue.